dakota last november!So it is november in ventura and we played in the pool today.
When is this heat going to be gone. I mean it is great fun and all but really how about 60 degrees shoot 65. At least it is starting to cool down from the weekend, we have had the pool out since friday I believe. My friend Dawn in Nova Scotia is hopefully sending some cool weather and moisture. I will be waiting.
Really it was a great day we started the day with a walk down at the beach with Aubrei and Maya, Aubrei when we were just about done jumped in the ocean and I kick myself for not joining her but I was wearing my pants and the thought of them being wet and hanging on me stopped me, silly really, but it was great to see her just jump right in. Then we headed off to arroyo verde park to meet up with some friends for some nice play time. Which it was until dakota lost it. Sweet girl has started yelling at me when she is frustrated, at the top of her lungs yelling at me. So we promptly left because that just doesn't fly. But it gets me thinking about how much emotion she has going on inside to yell like that and how do I want to continue to handle it. Because first off it is just not okay, yelling at anyone when she is frustrated is not the way and not only is it not the right way but it is the wrong way. But she is in the moment of pure frustration and not sure how to deal with all that and at this point unsure what to do with it. Do you ever wonder if we moms of this generation over think things? HA! Anyway I want to try to help her find a better way of expressing all the emotion. Open to suggestions.... I do know that I have to be the example and I am not a yeller but I am far from perfect when I get upset so I think I will start there, what do I look like to her in the moments where I have lost patience???
On the drive home she was very sad and very sorry and told me she was sorry and that she loved me and then of course I feel bad for being upset with this beautiful, tender, sweet LITTLE girl who is still learning all the time.
The rest of our day was great as they all are really. really
This is what my sweet girl fell asleep with last night not a doll, nor a teddy bear, soft blanket no
a card! silly girl. thanks titi.
3 comments:
Hi Kristen, Yes, I just said yesterday that I wish we could send you some of our rain and cold weather! It is going to be around freezing all week and possible snow!!
As for little Dakota... As you know Fionna is all about emotion and impulse. I have been trying the "Wait, stop and lets try that again" in a very calm voice. This gives her a chance to calm down, think about what is going on and what she really wants and try to talk out her feelings to resolve the issue.
It is working pretty good. Sometimes I still have to just give her some down time on her own to think about it. (Not "time out" per say but just time to cool off enough to talk about the issue).
Things are working much better around here. I am learning a lot about patience from little Dylan. He has the patience of a Saint and is so willing to work with Fionna. Amazing the things each child brings to a family. Love that part!
I feel like I have read just about every "parenting" book out there... The latest one has made the most sense and the ideas have worked the best when I can stick with them:
Setting Limits with your Strong-willed Child by Robert J. MacKenzie
It would be worth just browsing over it at Barnes and Noble to see if anything rings with you.
Give her hugs from us. Miss you guys!
At least her frustration is vocal and not physical. She's not hitting anyone -- or hurting herself. Katie gets very fired up too, I see her actually shake sometimes she gets so mad. It worries me, so I always, always try to get her to vocalize what she is feeling because I'm afraid of some crazy physical impulsive reaction.
But I'm with you on the immediate curtailing of "fun" activities when they yell or lose it.
It's hard because sometimes you (the grown up) don't want to leave. But, you know it's best for everyone in the long run...
love to have analsex with her in the hot tub
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